Jeez, what a tub of lard, eh?

老天 他可真胖？

Why don't they just marry a big fat tub of lard?

为什么她们不嫁给大肥猪？

(twangy, upbeat music) Judging from the fact that you each look like a tub of lard.

（刺耳的、欢快的音乐）从你们每个人看起来都像一桶猪油的事实来看。