It will afflict her that I should have interrupted that career which would have made me first a privy councillor, and then minister, and that I should look behind me, in place of advancing.

如果我中断了让我先成为枢密院议员，然后成为大臣的职业生涯，并且我应该回头看，而不是前进，这会让她很痛苦。